Jealousy Bites
by tenspeed457
Summary: Beyond Birthday is back after the Kira case. The case has been resolved with Kira's death, for which BB is responsible. Now, he just wants L to notice him. BB killed Kira before he could kill L, so that's why Matt & Mello are alive.
1. Chapter One: Near Perfect

(I don't own Death Note)

I wrote this for soundofmadness223 for christmas, because I love her. It took me like three tries to print it out, because my printer is retarded, but it was totally worth it. :)

this chapter is a little short. sorry about that.

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~Near Perfect~

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He didn't realize I was there at first, as I watched him playing with his stupid building blocks. Pathetic, to be playing with those at this age... but then everything about him was pathetic. And yet, _**MY**_ L still liked _**HIM**_ better. Him, of all people. Him, and not me. Noticed him. Never noticed me. Not any more, not since he had washed his hands of me years before. I hated that little brat, and he knew it. That was why, when he finally noticed me, his eyes held fear.

"Um... hello," he greeted me tentatively. "What do you want?" I just stared at him, not answering his question. I moved forward slowly, then slammed my hands on the desk. He flinched, moving away slightly. He didn't know how to react... "What are you doing, Beyond?" What was I doing? Fuck if I knew. All I knew was that this-this _punk_ was all that stood in between me and _my_ L. He was the favorite; he was another "Plan A." I was just fucking "Backup!" yeah. Backup. That's all I ever meant to my L. Well, guess what. I was sick of being Backup. I would make L notice me! Watched as Near- yeah, Near. You know why? Because he's "Near" perfect. As in "Near" L. So he isn't perfect, and he isn't L. Just near. But I watched him tremble in front of me, and suddenly I knew that I could use him to get L's attention. Couldn't hurt him; he made my L happy, and I would do nothing to make him unhappy. I leaned forward, feeling a little smug as the brat tried to flinch away from my touch.

"You're very... very pretty. Almost as pretty as L..." He blushed as I stroked his cheek. "You look like him, you know. But not quite close enough." He stared at me in confusion. "He used to be mine, you know? Or he would have been, if you hadn't come in, and made him love YOU. He'd much rather be with you than even consider me. He's refused to see me, you know. Ever since I saved his fucking life, since I've been back here, I haven't seen him once. Do you know the last time I saw him? It was.... years ago. God, why won't he fucking meet with him?!" The brat whimpered, and I looked down. I threw my hands up, recoiling, when I realized that I had seized his hair tightly in my hands.

"Sorry. That was not intentional... I mean I didn't actually mean to do that."

"Beyond, I think you're a little confused... L and I aren't actually- I mean- uh-" I was astounded. This was the first time I had ever heard the brat sound unsure of his words. "We're not actually together. We don't have anything going on... um.... romantically."

"Then why does he only pay attention to you? Why won't he even look at me?!" Then, for no reason, I kissed the boy. He stiffened up, struggling in my grip. A moment later, I pushed him away from me. "I need you to get L to meet with me."

"I can't do that! You know he won't meet with you. Not since... I mean... um..." Haha! It was so great, making this little punk feel uncomfortable. He deserved it, you know.

"I didn't do anything to make him hate me..."

"I believe that murder might make him hate you..." WHAT?! How dare he say that.

"I did it for HIM! It was not murder. It had to be done. Trust me, the world is so much better off without that stupid Believe Bridesmaid... I'd watched him. For days. Okay? I couldn't have killed him if it hadn't been his time. No, no. It doesn't work like that! You can prevent deaths, or postpone them, but you can't rush them. You know what? His date matched **my** L's date. I knew his habits, and I knew how he would die. Every day, he got drunk out of his fucking mind. He drove home from the bar. Same time, every day. Same time he and L were supposed to die. Doesn't take a genius to realize that somehow, he would be responsible for my L's death. So I drugged him instead. If he can't drive, and can't get anywhere near L, he can't hurt him. Do you understand?" He stared at me blankly. That blank look of his pissed me off so much... "Do you fucking understand me?!" I slammed him into the wall, my fingers digging into the pale skin of his wrists. He whimpered slightly, nodding. "Good. So you're going to talk to him, aren't you?" I whispered to him, my lips brushing his ear ever-so-softly. He nodded more frantically this time, whimpering again when I pressed my lips against the base of his neck.

"Yes, I'll talk to him," He snapped. "Now let go of me."

"Oh, no. Not yet." I wanted L to see how serious I was. The only way to get his attention, completely and fully, was through this runt.

"W-What are you doing?" I smiled, pleased at the terrified look on this face, usually so devoid of emotion. I didn't answer him. After all, I didn't owe him anything, least of all an answer. I got no answers, so why should he? I bit down lightly on his neck, but he started struggling, and I couldn't help myself as I bit harder. I really never meant to break the skin, I swear, but when he started fighting, trying to escape from me, I just sort of... lost it. By the time I realized what was going on, he was sobbing softly, and the metallic taste of blood was in my mouth. It was good, but then I realized that Near was bleeding from the neck. Not badly, fortunately, but it looked gruesome enough. Shit, shit, shit. Now L would hate me! I'd hurt his precious little Near.

"God! I- Um, sorry. I didn't mean that... let me help you?" I reached for him, meaning to stop the bleeding and bandage the wound, but he shook his head, shoving me away from him. Fine then, if he didn't want my help, then I didn't want to fucking help him! "You're so pathetic!" I hissed at him as I stalked out of the room. At least this way, L wouldn't dare to ignore me; not any more, anyway.

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A/N: so there it is. I know he's a little OOC in parts, but that's okay. he's unpredictable like that. heh.

Reviews would be wonderful! I love you all!

~alex~


	2. Chapter Two: Anticipation

(I don't own Death Note)

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~Anticipation~

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I wasn't surprised when Roger, flanked by both Matt and Mello (surprised they could keep their hands off each other for more than ten minutes), knocked on my door, looking grim.

"Yes?" I gave them my most innocent, most sincere smile, but they looked slightly repulsed. The corner of Mello's lip raised in disgust. What? I'd only been eating my jam... so what if I had a little on my face? It was the nicest color of red, almost like blood, and it smelled so good... even the stickiness was appealing, although that was mainly because I could spread it on other things, which totally freaked Near out if anything was dirty or messed up. Ha! I loved watching him squirm as I handled library books, or anything else that "wasn't supposed to" be messed up. Speaking of Near...

"Beyond, I'd like to ask that you come with us," Roger couldn't meet my eyes as he spoke to me. Most people couldn't. Like they'd never seen red eyes before? Bullshit! There were plenty of people with eyes this color... I think. Maybe not. It's not like they were a bad color, though; I thought they were quite nice. The same color as my jam, which was the nicest color in the world. I stared at him for a moment, then stepped into the hallway, not bothering to put my shoes on as I closed the door behind me. Matt glanced at Mello, unsure, but Mello pretended not to notice, as he stared straight ahead of him. I sidled up next to Matt; next to Near, he was the most fun to harass, although mainly because Mello made it worth my time.

"Hey, Matty," I whispered. He shifted uncomfortably. I slid closer and closer to him, until I was able to take his arm in my hand, running my fingers across the top of it. He shivered, and I leaned in closer to whisper, "what's the **matt**er, **Matt**y?" Suddenly, I felt strong hands on my arms, slamming me backwards into the wall.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" Mello was irate. I began laughing; I couldn't help myself. These people were so damn predictable. "What's so funny, you piece of shit?"

"Mello, please, try to control your temper," Roger tried to calm him, as I still laughed helplessly.

"Mello, man, I can take care of myself..." Mello threw me to the floor as I continued to laugh.

"Don't ever touch him again." And that was it. We walked the rest of the way in silence, but I couldn't help but giggle every now and then. I was in such a good mood; I was going to see My L! Roger took us into the private corridor, through doors with key codes and various other security systems.

"Beyond, are you alright?" I nodded impatiently at the man; I was literally bouncing from one foot to the other in my excitement. He sighed when we reached our apparent destination. It was just another white door, plain, simple, and just the same as all of the other ones in this godforsaken place. I didn't even care as Roger took out his gun, making no effort to hide it from me. He wanted me to know not to screw anything up. He nodded to our two escorts, who gladly left us alone. "B. I want to make one thing perfectly clear. If you make one wrong move, if I think you're threatening L, I _will_ shoot. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Now let's go. Now." I wasn't being polite anymore, but I was sick of waiting to see him. It had been so long... but wait. Suddenly, I was very self-conscious. The other's had looked at me like I was gross. Maybe I had something on my face? Maybe I looked bad? I couldn't go in front of L looking bad... "Wait!" Roger had been reaching for the doorknob. I started grooming furiously, scrubbing at my face with my sleeve and trying to brush my hair with my fingers. I was getting frustrated, when Roger tentatively held his hand out to me. He had one of those little wet wipe things.

"May I?" I nodded. Whatever to get this over. I still flinched at the cool feeling of it upon my skin, and he looked a little nervous, like I would leap at him at any moment. Stupid, when had I attacked anyone lately? Oh, wait- that little brat- shit. That's why they had three of them come to get me. I shouldn't even be here. I was a danger to my L. But no! I had to see him! "B? Are you ready?" Ah! I'd been staring into space... I nodded, and he opened the door for me, his gun held at the ready. I carefully stepped over the threshold, the thick carpeting soft on my feet. Something smelled very good, cake or pie or something like that. I looked around nervously. L had his own little apartment, and at the moment, I didn't see him. "Come over here and sit down, B," Roger suggested, leading me to a small sofa. I sat, but only to appease the man. I was jumpy and anxious, unable to keep my thoughts focused for more than a few seconds. Where was he? What was taking so long? Maybe he'd decided not to meet me. Maybe he'd seen what I'd done to Near, and he hated me so much now? Roger must have noticed my state of turmoil, because he patted my arm softly. "Calm down, B. He'll be here, okay?" I nodded, clenching my hands together. And then... there he was.

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A/N: okay, so all of these chapters are pretty short, and I'm very sorry about that. review?

~alex~


	3. Chapter Three: Confessions

(I don't own Death Note)

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~Confessions~

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I stopped breathing as I stared at his beauty. How had I thought I could ever be anywhere near as perfect as he? I could never even come close. I opened my mouth, but I didn't know what I had been planning on saying. L looked slightly uncomfortable, standing there with his hands in his pockets, watching me almost as intensely as I was watching him.

"Um... hello." Oh my god! He was speaking to me. Again, I tried to speak, but failed. After a few moments of floundering helplessly, I managed to say something.

"I'm sorry." He frowned. Shit, did he not forgive me? I didn't know what to do if he didn't forgive me. I needed him!

"What are you sorry about?"

"About biting Near... I didn't mean to hurt him that badly." He frowned again.

"Why did you bite him in the first place? He said you wanted to talk to me." Crap. Well, might as well tell him. He would find out the truth anyway; after all, he was my L. You don't get anything past him.

"Because. You love him best, and I wanted you to pay attention to me." He looked surprised.

"Beyond, there are easier ways to get me to notice you! All you had to do was ask to meet with me." What was he saying?! That was a lie! I stood up abruptly, causing Roger to practically jump out of his chair. L motioned for him to put the gun down.

"Not true! Not true, not true! I've been requesting to meet with you for... for months! Ever since I've been back! Every single day!" His expression told me that he had been unaware of this, and I felt anger flare in my chest. Not at him, of course. Never at him.

"Is this true, Roger? Has Beyond requested my presence?" Roger wouldn't look at him. "Why was this information kept from me?" He, L, the great detective, sounded absolutely livid. L didn't show any emotions, ever. It was bad for solving crimes. Although I didn't want him to be angry, a part of me was overjoyed that he was getting angry for _my_ sake.

"He posed a threat, L. You know that as well as I do."

"Actually, I would not know that as well as you. You have been able to interact with him, to study his behavior. I, apparently, have been denied that opportunity. Leave." Roger stared, his mouth hanging open. I'm afraid I looked similar. "Well, get out!"

"But, but L-"

"Now." His voice dripped with venom, and Roger took the hint. Mumbling about being careful, and how I couldn't be trusted, and how he shouldn't do this, and how he should yell if he needed _anything_, he finally left us alone together. I couldn't believe this. This was... so much more than what I could have hoped for. Not only was I seeing L, but I was seeing him alone! And he seemed to _want_ to see me! "Uh, Beyond?" Oh, god I loved how he said my name... "are you alright?" He cared? No, he couldn't care.

"Do you hate me?" I asked bluntly.

"Why would I hate you? You've given me no reason to hate you."

"Near mentioned how murder would make you hate me. But I only did it for you, though, I-" He held up his hand, silencing me.

"Near told me what you said. Although when the case was open, these assertions were incredible, the more recent Kira case has shed more light on your claims. I must thank you for saving me, both then and more recently." Wait. So he believed me? He believed me?!? I suddenly rushed forward, not missing the slightly panicked expression on his face. I grabbed his hand in mine, holding it tightly.

"L! Oh, my L. I love you." what had I said? Why had I said that?!? He was never supposed to know! Never! I flinched backwards, cringing away from the harsh words to come. They never actually came, though; he sounded more disbelieving than anything.

"B? What are you talking about? You can't mean that..." Oh, but I did.

"L. Why do you think I strived so much to catch up to you? Why do you think I imitated you- still do, actually. Why would I save you those times? Why would I rot in prison for years, then fake my death when I knew you were in danger? When I escaped, why would I do something that would ensure my capture, just to be close to you? To save your life?" it was like I couldn't control what I was saying; all I had been keeping bottled up was finally erupting, finally coming into light. He looked... stunned, as if he didn't know just how to react. "So L... please don't hate me. Please, let me see you more often."

"B, I swear, I was unaware that you wished to see me. I assumed that you wanted nothing to do with me, and that was why I hadn't seen you." These words were just too good. I lunged forward again, this time catching him in a full-blown kiss. He stiffened, and I felt my stomach drop in dread that he would reject me, but after a few moments, he softened into it, and actually returned it. I could tell that he was inexperienced, but I didn't care. I was kissing my L, and he was reciprocating! This was the stuff that dreams were made of! But then he was pushing me away, and I was pulling back, holding my arms tightly around myself. Shit! I knew I shouldn't have done that, knew he couldn't like something like me, knew I should have just left him the hell alone.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "That was... highly inappropriate. I should not have been so bold..." As soon as the words were out, though, I felt his soft lips back at mine, shyly asking for permission. What was going on? Surely, he couldn't return my feelings. He didn't even know me! "What?"

"What do you mean, 'what?' Isn't this what you wanted?" He sounded completely puzzled.

"What are you doing? You don't know me, you can't love me. Why are you doing this?" He stopped, his eyes unreadable.

"B, I always believed you. When you said that you did it for me, I mean. I didn't know about the numbers and time of death, but I always knew that you truly believed that you were doing it for me. I've been wanting to see you again, just once, for so long... I've owed you an apology for so long."

"No, no don't just kiss me because you owe me." I couldn't have that; I needed him to actually love me.

"I would not do that, B. I wanted to see you, but they told me that you wanted nothing to do with me. I respected that, and stayed away from you, but I truly wished to see you." Those bastards! They wanted us separate... I pushed him down on the sofa, throwing myself on top of him as I kissed him forcefully. I'd been waiting so long to see him, and now that I saw him in person once again... well, I was having a hard time controlling myself.

"L, what are you saying? Are you implying that you have... feelings for me? Do you like me? You'd better tell me now, because I need to know. If you do, I'm not leaving. Ever. If you tell me you don't, or if you're only doing this out of pity or a sense of duty or debt, then I will leave you alone forever." I couldn't handle uncertainty. "So L, how do you feel about me?" He actually blushed. And it was.... very attractive.

"I've missed you, Beyond. I know we haven't seen each other in years, but I... believe that I may have these... feelings for you."

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**A/N:** The last part is kind of awkwardly worded, but then again, L is kind of an awkward guy. this chapter's a little longer... reviews, please? I love you all!

~alex~


	4. Chapter Four: Heartbeats

(I don't own Deathnote)

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~Heartbeats~

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I must have sat there, just staring at the perfect face in front of me, for close to a minute. L started fidgeting, but became still once again when I reached up, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. God, his hair was even softer than I had imagined. I ran my fingers through it, murmuring softly to the one I loved.

"You're so beautiful... don't let anyone else touch you. Only me. I will never leave you; won't let anyone hurt you. I'll take care of you, you know. My Lawliet." His eyes widened.

"H-How did you-" I gestured to my eyes.

"I can see it, remember?" He still looked awed. "Do you not trust me? I would never hurt you. I would die to protect you; I've been trying to show you that. Just don't send me away from you; allow me to remain here." He nodded, speechless. "You might want to tell Roger that you're still alive, and tell him that he can stop hovering outside the door like that."

"Ah, yes. Roger! You can open the door, if you'd like. I'm okay." The look on the older man's face was priceless, when he came in and saw the two of us curled up like that on the couch. I tightened my arms protectively around L as I glared at the man, daring him to say anything. "See? We're fine in here. You can leave us alone." He didn't budge.

"Roger, please leave. I'm attempting to woo L; I can't do it with you around." His expression, again, was to die for, but L actually laughed. I couldn't rid my face of my smug grin. I had gotten L to laugh! ME! I made a joke that my L found funny! I laughed from sheer joy. Nothing made me happier than making my L happy.

"L, do you... do you wish for me to leave you two?" L nodded. "Very well. Good day." Roger bowed stiffly, before hurrying out the door. He slammed it behind him, using perhaps a little too much force. I turned to my love, intending to kiss him, but he beat me to it. This time, he was almost aggressive as he ran his hands through my hair, caressing my face.

"God, L," I moaned, clenching my eyes tightly shut. "You've no idea how long I've wanted this..." He froze, and I opened one eye to peer at him. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes held some emotion that I did not recognize. "L? What's the matter?"

"Beyond, do you really love me?" Why would he even ask me that? I nodded. "No, really. Not just your... obsession, but love. Do you love me, or do you just obsess?" There was a difference? I stared at him, thinking it over. Sure, I was obsessed. I behaved like him, I had spent hours and hours studying him and researching anything about him that I could. At one point, I had wanted to surpass him, but now I just wanted to be with him. I think that's love...

"I don't have any past experience with love off of which to base my current feelings, but... I believe that I love you. I want to be with you, L. I want you to look at me, and no one else. I want to matter to you, and I want you to feel the same way about me." I really needed to learn when to shut up; I think I made L mad. Or something. His face adopted another unfamiliar expression, and I began to panic.

"Beyond, relax."

"Are you upset with me, L?" I dreaded the answer.

"No, no. Of course not. I just... I did not foresee this outcome... I never expected you to return my feelings. Of course you know that I... do not express emotions. It does not mean that I do not experience them. I also think that I love you, Beyond. Please, though, do not exploit that as a weakness. I may possess this very human weakness, but I will not allow it to alter my perception of reality. Do you understand what I am trying to say?" I nodded.

"I believe so. I would not do anything that might hurt you or cause you pain. I will kill anyone who hurts you. I will _kill_ them," I spat, getting worked up.

"Beyond, calm down. It's okay! At the moment, no one is trying to hurt me, that I know of." I gave his numbers a quick glance. It was true that they indicated a long life, but I still couldn't shake the protective feeling.

"It's best to assume that there's always someone who means you harm. Better to be overly cautious. Except with me, of course," I teased, running my hand across his chest. He shivered, but he seemed to lean into my touch. "Do you trust me, L?" He didn't answer at first, but then turned to look into my eyes. His black eyes, which usually gave away nothing, told me all I needed to know to dispel any fears or doubts I may have had.

"With my life," he promised. "I trust you with my life." That statement seemed to kick start my brain, and I practically attacked him. He didn't resist as I pulled him closer to me, kissing him deeply. I bit down on his lower lip, and he whined slightly in pleasure. If I had been doubtful before that he truly had wanted me, I no longer doubted his sincerity. His skin was so soft, and so pale, as if it never saw the light of day. That was a pretty accurate assumption to make, though, as he never actually left the confines of the house if he could at all help it. On the rare occasions that he was actually out and about, Roger and the others had always made sure that I didn't know about it and was sufficiently occupied to prevent us meeting. Those bastards. I kissed his chest, his breathing speeding up more with ever touch. I lay my head on his chest- there it was! My god, the sound that kept my world together- his heartbeat. It kept him alive; kept me alive. Without it, there would be no point to life. It was the sound that I would fight against anything and everything to protect. My L's heartbeat; the center of my world.

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A/N: Yeah. I dunno. Thanks for reading... review?

~alex~


	5. Chapter Five: Memory

(I don't own Deathnote)

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~Memory~

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We lay there like that for almost an hour. A blissful hour at that. When he finally stirred, I whined, somewhat pathetically, I'll admit.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry, B. I'm just going to the bathroom." Oh. Duh. But still...

"Um, did you want me to leave? It's starting to get late." He looked at me, his eyes wide and confused.

"Do-do you want to leave? I mean, of course you can, but I would like-" He blushed. So damn cute! "I would like it if you would stay with me." I was overjoyed. Of course I didn't want to leave! I had been obsessed with even just seeing him, and now, here I was, alone with the man I loved, and he said that he loved me back! Of course I didn't want to leave! I wasn't sure that he would want me to stay, though. When I get obsessive with something, I tend to get a bit... overbearing. The problem, though, is that I never know when I'm being overbearing or annoying. I feared doing or saying something that would cause L to push me away, to make him never want to see me again.

"No! No, of course I want to stay. I just don't want to intrude on you..." He blushed under my gaze.

"Don't leave, okay?"

"Don't worry; I won't go anywhere until you tell me to." He was gone for a few minutes, but he came back looking more refreshed than before. His hair looked like it had been combed hurriedly, and I could smell the aroma of mint that he carried. He also wore a fresh pair of pajamas, and held out a second pair to me.

"I didn't know if you were planning to sleep here, but you can wear these if you want to. They should fit-" I nodded. I knew that we wore the same size. "-but I mean, you don't have to stay. I just was saying if you wanted to..." I kissed him softly as I took the pajama pants from him. He flushed bright red as I changed right there in front of him, but it didn't bother me at all. He went into the other room, and I hesitantly followed him, laying next to him on the bed when he motioned for me to join him. We sat there awkwardly, neither of us knowing what to do or say. That was the one thing that all of us Wammy's kids shared- aside from being geniuses, of course. We couldn't handle social situations. L avoided them if possible, and if he was forced into being social, he showed no emotion whatsoever. Matt rarely looked up from his game systems; without either those or Mello, he was lost. Mello would just get pissed and blow shit up, or kill someone. If he couldn't do that, he would break something, or hurt someone, or at the very least, threaten someone with a painful death. Stupid Near freaked out when he had to deal with people, and like L, didn't show emotions. Unlike L, though, he couldn't comprehend others' emotions, so he would say things that were extremely inappropriate or offensive without even realizing that he had made a social blunder. If things got too overwhelming for him, he would just sit there with his stupid building blocks, lining them up in an orderly way that made sense to his twisted little head. I could go either way; I would either handle things very well, or I would freak out, and do something stupid like bite Near. A, on the other hand... obviously he couldn't handle the pressure of interacting with others, because when he got a little stressed, he just fucking killed himself. He did it where I would find him, too. He knew that I would be the one to find him. He _**knew**_ that I would be the first one to see his lifeless body... and the blood. Oh, the blood. So much blood, everywhere, blood.

"Beyond! B, what? What happened! What's wrong!?" L sounded frantic. I realized that I was shaking, and when I looked down, I realized that there was blood on my fingernails. I stared at them, not understanding what had happened. Oh, god. Had I hurt L?

"L, what- are you okay? I'm sorry, god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm so sorry, I-"

"B, I'm fine! You're the one bleeding!" I'd never before heard L sound panicked. Huh? I looked again, and sure enough, I had been scratching at the skin on my arms until they had bled. "B, what happened?" Suddenly, I realized how wrong this situation was. I shoved him away from me.

"L, I'm sorry... I can't- you can't be with me." It hurt to say it. The pain in his eyes, the look of betrayal, stung, but it was for his own good.

"What did I do, B? I'm sorry..." He didn't yell at me, but just spoke softly, which made it hurt even more. Oh, god no. I didn't want him to hurt. I never wanted to have hurt him!

"No, no, no, no no. You didn't do anything. It's all my damn fault! I don't want you to be hurt; I want you safe. Everyone around me gets hurt, ends up-" I hadn't noticed the tears. "-everyone I love ends up dead..." He gently turned my face, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"B... Love..." No, don't say such kind things to me, I don't deserve them! "B, this won't turn out like A. I promise, B. I won't leave you." I shook my head. Couldn't be true. Everyone left sooner or later. Everyone died sooner or later. "Look. See? It's okay!" He pointed above his head, to where he thought the numbers were. I shook my head even more violently.

"NO! Means nothing. His numbers were normal that day, too. You can fool them! He hadn't decided to do it for sure the last time I saw him! He wasn't for sure going to die, so I didn't know! You can trick them! They mean _**nothing!**_" I was yelling, and the tears were flowing freely. No, no no. I didn't cry! I never cry! I can't cry!

"B, please just listen to me... please believe me. I will **not** leave you. I would never do that to you. B, look at me." I refused to meet his eyes. "B, _look at me._" I finally allowed myself to glance at him. "Beyond Birthday, I swear that I, L Lawliet Lawsford, will **not** leave you. Okay? I swear." No, I couldn't believe him, couldn't let myself trust him... but I did believe him. I knew he meant it, and I knew that he wouldn't leave me. He kept his arms around me tightly as I sobbed into his shirt. I hadn't cried in so long; I had never cried for my first love, After Autumn, hadn't cried for my loss when he left me. I hadn't cried until now; but here, safe in the arms of my L, I cried.

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A/N: Yeah, I read somewhere that L's full name was Lawliet Lawsford. dunno why you'd do that to your kid, but oh well. review? thanks.

~alex~


	6. Chapter Six: Comfort

(I don't own Deathnote)

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~Comfort~

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I don't know how long we lay like that, him clutching my shoulders tightly, me wetting his shirt with my tears, before I finally calmed down, until I was able to breathe without feeling that awful pain in my chest. Ugh. I'd made such a fool of myself... He probably thought I was laughably pathetic.

"I'm sorry." It was lame, but it was the only thing I could say.

"Dammit B!" I flinched at his harsh tone, but I had expected it. "Don't apologize." What? "You have every right to feel sadness and loss. You are human, after all. You loved him, and he hurt you so badly. It wasn't your fault." I shook my head.

"No. I didn't treat him well enough. I never paid him enough attention; I took him for granted."

"B, even if that were the case, he shouldn't have done that to you. Let's not talk about him right now. We should enjoy ourselves."

"So... so you don't want me to leave?" He threw his arms up, almost comically.

"B! I've already told you that I would like nothing more than for you to stay here beside me tonight! Is there nothing I can say or do that would convince you?" I lowered my eyes.

"Well, that was before my pitiful little outburst."

"B, having emotions doesn't make you pitiful." Whatever. Load of good they'd done me in the past... although I did enjoy being here with L. Even if I was being absolutely ridiculous... "If emotions make you pitiful, then I don't mind being pitiful." He squeezed me tighter. I looked up, searching his eyes for the patronizing sarcasm that had to be there. No insincerity showed, though. He truly meant it; my L truly cared for me. I smiled suddenly, leaping on top of him and burying my face in his chest. He smelled so good!!! He looked surprised, but allowed himself a slow smile. "See? It's okay!"

"Please, please stay with me," I whispered, not even caring that I was pleading.

"Of course, Beyond." I crawled under the covers, pulling them up until they were just under my chin. He laughed, reaching out tentatively to stroke my hair. I nestled into his touch, not wanting him to stop. Ever. I held out my arms, and he came under the covers to lay next to me. I wasn't wearing my shirt, and I tugged at his until he allowed me to remove it. I wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling him close to me so that I could kiss his stomach and chest. It was so warm, the two of us sharing body heat. A thought crossed my mind, making me giggle. "What's so funny?"

"What do you think Roger will say? Or Mello?" He smiled ruefully.

"Roger won't like it. He'll probably tell me to be careful around you, that you're dangerous to me. Not that I care. Mello... it's hard to say with him. He is not fond of you, but somehow, I think he won't mind us together. As long as you leave Matt alone from no on..." I blushed. He'd heard about that? "Mello obsesses about Matt. You should know that; you provoke Mello all the time." True enough. I liked Matt well enough, but I never really wanted him. Not in the way that I wanted L. It was so easy to get a rise out of his more violent counterpart, though, that I couldn't resist.

"It's fun." I shrugged. "He's so predictable. But you know that I don't like Matt like that... I like you. Don't worry about that..." He laughed again. God, how I loved that sound.

"I know, Beyond. Like I said, I trust you." I could feel myself blushing as I failed to stifle my yawn, the contagious nature of yawns causing him to yawn as well. "Tired?" I nodded, and he kissed my forehead. I scooted up so that I could better reach, and kissed him gently but assertively, expressing my feelings for him in a kiss.

"I love you, L."

"I love you too, B."

I fell asleep like that, curled up in the arms of my L, the one that I loved more than anything or anyone in the world.

~That night, I had no nightmares. I had my L.~

_fin.

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A/N: Thank you all for reading! sorry for how short this chapter is. I hope you all liked it! I had fun writing this. I apologize to any Near fans... I love near, and I didn't actually intend to be so mean to him... it just sort of happened. I'm sorry, Near!!! Any reviews are very much appreciated. happy new year! I love you all!!!

~alex~


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